Yo yo what it do welcome to my blawg, dawg

speedlimit15:

*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
Dad: *chokes into his drink*
ROL: You should respect your elders.
Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
ROL: *storms off*
Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
Me: What?
Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.
lolsomeone-actually:

fuck da police

lolsomeone-actually:

fuck da police

image

"Ringo isn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles"

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS
SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.
ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS

SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.

ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

wetmyplants:

Oops silly potato

wetmyplants:

Oops silly potato

fueledby-fuentes:

tomfuckinmison:

myformofimagination:

Ok, so here’s personal story time.
I went to Disney World Magic Kingdom today wearing this pink and white sun dress and my hair was in soft curls. My hair is sort of long, but you can’t really tell that from the picture.
Anyway, we were walking around for a little while, and then this mother walked up to me holding her daughter’s hand. At first I kind of got nervous because I don’t just get randomly talked to on the norm. But then the mother kind of embarrassingly said “I don’t mean to bother you dear, but my daughter here has been asking me non stop since she’s seen you if you were Sleeping Beauty and if it’s your day off.”
Ok, now I do not look like any Disney Princess. So I assumed she only thought this because of my hair and dress (I would imagine if Sleeping Beauty were walking around Disney in the summertime on her day off she would wear a pink sun dress. Or blue lol).
I looked down at the daughter, who was wearing a Sleeping Beauty kids dress and she was kind of hiding behind her mom and smiling. So instead of telling her no, this is what I did:
I bent down to my knees so I could be on her level and I said, “Oh Princess, you must have just woken up for behaving so silly. Obviously you are Princess Aurora, aren’t you?” I pointed to her dress. “It really is an honor to meet you. You’re my favorite Disney Princess.” By now she was giggling and moving out from behind her mom. “But I have to warn you. I heard that an evil sorceress is out to get you, so be careful. Make sure you be safe and stay away from spinning wheels!” I looked up at the girl’s mother who had the biggest smile on her face. “Ok Princess, you better get back to running the kingdom. And remember to always keep dreaming!” The girl then gave me a hug. When they were walking away the mother turned back to me and I noticed her eyes were watery. She mouthed “thank you”.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, gave me the most satisfying feeling I have ever had.

last time i went to disney land someone mistook me for a trash collector

I just spit everywhere

fueledby-fuentes:

tomfuckinmison:

myformofimagination:

Ok, so here’s personal story time.

I went to Disney World Magic Kingdom today wearing this pink and white sun dress and my hair was in soft curls. My hair is sort of long, but you can’t really tell that from the picture.

Anyway, we were walking around for a little while, and then this mother walked up to me holding her daughter’s hand. At first I kind of got nervous because I don’t just get randomly talked to on the norm. But then the mother kind of embarrassingly said “I don’t mean to bother you dear, but my daughter here has been asking me non stop since she’s seen you if you were Sleeping Beauty and if it’s your day off.”

Ok, now I do not look like any Disney Princess. So I assumed she only thought this because of my hair and dress (I would imagine if Sleeping Beauty were walking around Disney in the summertime on her day off she would wear a pink sun dress. Or blue lol).

I looked down at the daughter, who was wearing a Sleeping Beauty kids dress and she was kind of hiding behind her mom and smiling. So instead of telling her no, this is what I did:

I bent down to my knees so I could be on her level and I said, “Oh Princess, you must have just woken up for behaving so silly. Obviously you are Princess Aurora, aren’t you?” I pointed to her dress. “It really is an honor to meet you. You’re my favorite Disney Princess.” By now she was giggling and moving out from behind her mom. “But I have to warn you. I heard that an evil sorceress is out to get you, so be careful. Make sure you be safe and stay away from spinning wheels!” I looked up at the girl’s mother who had the biggest smile on her face. “Ok Princess, you better get back to running the kingdom. And remember to always keep dreaming!” The girl then gave me a hug. When they were walking away the mother turned back to me and I noticed her eyes were watery. She mouthed “thank you”.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, gave me the most satisfying feeling I have ever had.

last time i went to disney land someone mistook me for a trash collector

I just spit everywhere

heckboy:

please watch this